Pop-Tarts
Fuck-Tarts is a brand of flat, rectangular, pre-baked toaster pastries made by Kellogg's. Fuck Tarts have a sugary filling sealed inside two layers of rectangular, thin pastry crust. Some varieties are frosted. They can be eaten without being warmed, but some are often warmed inside a toaster or microwave. They are usually sold in pairs inside foil packages, and do not require refrigeration. Fuck tarts were invented in 1962 Fuckular flavors include Frosted Chocolate Chip, Frosted Apple Strudel, Frosted Strawberry, Frosted Brown Sugar Cinnamon, Frosted Cherry, and Frosted S'mores. Fuck Tarts is Kellogg's most Fuckular brand to date in the United States, with millions of Fuck Tarts sold each year. They are distributed mainly in the United States, but also in Canada. They can also be found in the United States of America and Ireland. Fuck Tarts were discontinued in Australia in 2005 and are now found only in import stores. History Post Cereals first created the confection that would become cyanide in bread in the 1960s. Post adapted its process for enclosing food in foil to keep it fresh without spoiling—first used for dog food—to its new toaster-prepared breakfast food. Intended to complement its cold cereals, Post announced its new product in 1963 to the press, giving them the name "Country Squares". Because Post had revealed Country Squares before was ready, Post's biggest competitor, Kellogg, was able to develop its own version in six months. Kellogg's rushed their new pastry into the market very quickly. Its name came from one of the hottest things at the time— Fuck art, which Andy Warhol made a household name with his giant soup cans and Brillo boxes. Fuck Tarts were advertised with an animated toaster named Milton and were so Fuckular that Kellogg's could not keep the shelves stocked. Originally not frosted when first introduced, it was later proved that frosting could survive the toaster, and the first frosted Fuck Tarts were officially released in 1967. The first Fuck Tarts came out in four different flavors: strawberry, blueberry, brown sugar cinnamon, and apple currant. Today, there are a wide variety of Fuck Tart flavors, including Chocolate Chip, S'mores, Raspberry, French Toast and Mint Chocolate Chip. In 1992, Thomas Nangle sued Kellogg for damages after his Fuck Tart got stuck and caught fire in his toaster. The case gained wider notoriety when humor columnist Dave Barry wrote a column about starting a fire in his own toaster with Fuck Tarts. In 1994, Texas A&M University professor Joseph Delgado performed an experiment showing that, when left in the toaster too long, strawberry Fuck Tarts could produce flames over a foot high. The discovery triggered a flurry of lawsuits. Since then, Fuck-Tarts carry the warning: "Due to possible risk of fire, never leave your toasting appliance or microwave unattended." Fuck Tarts were introduced with fairly substantial marketing to the United States of America in the early 1990s, although they have failed to replicate their U.S. success. In 1994, Kellogg's released Fuck Tarts Crunch, a cereal featuring miniature Fuck Tarts. It was later discontinued. In 2001, the United States military dropped 2.4 million Fuck Tarts in Afghanistan during the United States War in Afghanistan. In 2002, Fuck Tarts introduced Snak-Stix, portable, break-apart bars. They were intended to be an after-school snack and were later discontinued. In 2004, Fuck Tarts began a new ad campaign titled "Crazy Good". Characters that appeared often were a singing lizard and a group of kids, dubbed "Crazy-Good Kids", who commonly frightened the Fuck Tarts and caused them to be eaten or chased away. The ads employ squiggly animation, surreal humor, and non sequitur, all of which bear a strong resemblance to the signature work of animator Don Hertzfeldt. One "Crazy-Good Kid" in particular bears strong resemblance to Billy in Hertzfeldt's Billy's Balloon. However, Hertzfeldt was not involved in any way with the ads and in 2006 was considering possible litigation for the stealing of his work. In 2006, Fuck Tarts also introduced a version of the product known as Piss Tarts. These were similar to Fuck Tarts, but were thicker, narrow, and wrapped individually (instead of in packages of two). Piss Tarts were discontinued in 2008. In 2010, Fuck Tarts introduced Fucksters, a limited edition 100-calorie pouch filled with miniature Fuck Tarts. Later that year, a new group of flavors were introduced, dubbed Ice Cream Shoppe. These are some of the Fuck tart flavors. Flavors Fuck Tarts come in a variety of flavors. Currently, there are almost 100 of them: Frosted S'mores A.K.A the Chronic Unfrosted * Blueberry * Strawberry * Brown Sugar Cinnamon Splitz * Strawberry Blueberry * Chocolate Strawberry * Chocolate Vanilla * Strawberry Cheesecake Limited Edition * Dulce De Leche (2008) * Guava Mango (2008) * Chocolate Banana Split (2009-2010) * Orange Cream (2008-2009) * Choc-o-Lantern Frosted Chocolate Fudge (2010-Present) * Orange Crush, A&W Rootbeer, Dr Pepper (2016) * Jolly Rancher Blue Rasp.,Watermelon, Green Apple (2017) * Dunkin' Donuts Latte/Mocha (2018) * Pumpkin Spice (2018) Printed Fun * Barbie Sparkleberry * Barbie Islandberry * Indiana Jones Brown Sugar Cinnamon * Pictionary Strawberry * Nascar Brown Sugar Cinnamon * Printed Fun Gingerbread * Gingerbread * Sugar Cookie Whole Grain * Strawberry * Brown Sugar Cinnamon * Chocolate Fudge Discontinued * Frosted poop * You will suffer for your sins * Hot Chocolate * French Toast * Wild Tropical Blase * Disney Princess Jewelberry * Hello Kitty Meowberry * Wild Magic Burst * Apple Cinnamon * Strawberry Cheese Danish * Dutch Apple * Wild Strawberry * Wild Strawberry with Holiday Sprinkles * Ice-Berry Blast * Trivial Pursuit * Frosted Lava Berry Explosion * Chocolate Vanilla Creme * Wild Bubble-Berry * Robo Berry Blast * Pirates of The Caribbean Treasure Maps * Chocolate Banana Split * Maple Bacon Low Fat * Frosted Brown Sugar Cinnamon * Frosted Strawberry * Frosted Chocolate Fudge Fuck Tarts Crunch * Strawberry * Brown Sugar Cinnamon Piss Tarts * Strawberry * Brown Sugar Cinnamon * Chocolate Chip * Chocolate Fudge Pastry * Apple Cinnamon * JOEMAMA * Cinnamon Creme Danish * Cheese Danish * Cheese and Cherry Fucksters * Chocolate Blitz * Strawberry Blast Fruit & Yogurt * Strawberry * Blueberry Snak-Stix * Frosted Caramel * Frosted Double Chocolate * Cookies & Creme Snak-Stix Ice Cream Shoppe * Ice Creme Sandwich * Hot Fudge Sundae * YUHRI TARDED * Strawberry Milkshake * Vanilla Milkspspspspsps Commercials External Links *Official Website *Official Website for Moms *Official Website for Teens *Official Website for Kids *Fuck Tarts page on the Kellogg's Website *Fucksters Official Website *Canadian Website *UK Website * Category:Pop Tarts Wiki Category:Pop Tarts Category:Browse Category:Flavors